Post #57 – Women’s Memoirs, Writing Prompt – Kendra Bonnett and Matilda Butler
We welcome guest blogger Pamela Bell today. She sent us a clever article that we are pleased to publish. We think it will give you some new ideas for writing your memoir.
By Pamela Bell
#1 Retreat
Writing a memoir is like an extended writing retreat. You withdraw for a few hours, or even a few minutes, to a private place where you allow memories to carry you back to an earlier time. Over the years I’ve worked on completing my memoir, The Story Chaser: A Writer’s Journey, I frequently stopped to work on other writing projects, but I always returned to the past. Sometimes I managed to get away to walk in the Shawangunk Mountains in upstate New York, where the heart of my story unfolds. Walking the solitary mountain trails, I discovered Trapps Hamlet, a vanished mountain community. This became a symbol for my own vanished past I was vividly evoking in my story.
#2 Rescue
In memoir, you rescue the past from obscurity, misunderstanding and misinterpretation (at least someone else’s misinterpretation; you’re free to create your own – this is your memoir!) You rescue the hidden structure of your life as you dig for the bones to support your narrative. You rescue your voice that may have been ignored or neglected, and your vision. Most importantly, you rescue a story that might never have been told.
#3 Repair
In her biography of Isak Dinesen, The Life of a Storyteller, Judith Thurman calls Out of Africa a “sublime repair job” on the author’s life. By writing your memoir, you literally do repair the past because you give it the structure and meaning the raw experience lacked (even if you aren’t Isak Dinesen.) And pulling the elements of your story together takes you deeper into the experience. If the experience was painful, you have a chance to resolve it; if it was positive, you get to relive it. Either way, it could be a lot better – and more meaningful – the second time around.
#4 Revise
Revising your life story isn’t about falsifying or distorting facts; it’s about perspective. An occurrence that loomed large when it unfolded may be unimportant or irrelevant to the story you are telling while another, seemingly trivial event becomes a major turning point. You, the writer get to decide what is important and what isn’t, what to draw out and what to leave out. If only you could do this the first time around!
#5 Return
“If I knew then what I know now, I’d do a lot of things differently,” Peggy Sue Bodell says in the film “Peggy Sue Got Married” when, as an adult she goes back in time to inhabit her teenage self. But you wouldn’t write your memoir any different because you do know then what you know now. Memoir is a vehicle for returning to an earlier time with the knowledge of how the story unfolds – to go back with perspective and wisdom. That’s the beauty of return.
#6 Reflect
We could spend our lives sleeping like cats or hunting like cougars, but we humans have the unimaginable luxury of reflecting on ourselves, our lives and our stories. We can sift through the mysteries and myths of the past to find the true kernel of what we have come to say, and the truth that may have eluded us. If we are fortunate, we will bring back a story that will touch and transform others as well.
#7 Redeem
Our stories provide context for our lives and connection to others. Perhaps, as we evolved, they were even critical to our survival. Telling stories by the fire or stream-side, figuring out how we fit into the community, the land, the flow of events, helped redeem us from obscurity, isolation, and randomness. Through our stories we find a home for ourselves in the world.
#8 Restore
Memoir writing is analogous to taking an old piece of furniture and refinishing it (I happen to like distressed furniture, but that’s another issue.) What you’re highlighting in the story is the them, the heart of what you have come to say. Hopefully you can make it shine.
#9 Resolve
An untold story is a painful one for a writer. Writing a memoir, working to find the theme and hone the narrative, changes the rough, unfinished quality of life by giving it definition, form and resolution. The act of shaping a narrative, whether one as lush as an English cottage garden or as bare as an empty city lot, puts you and your “characters” in context and gives your story closure, as my therapist friend, Vivian, likes to say.
#10 Reward
Some of the most heartfelt comments I’ve gotten from my recently-completed memoir as I “test drove” the manuscript came from friends who showed it to friends, from people I hardly knew. That definitely counts as a reward – finding new readers, discovering your audience. And in writing your memoir you also discover yourself and your story.
And that’s the ultimate reward.
Writing Prompt
My recently completed memoir, The Story Chaser: A Writer’s Journey, began as a letter to Susanna Kaysen, the author of Girl Interrupted. The letter kept going on…and on, and eventually I realized it wasn’t really a letter I was writing, but the beginning of my own memoir.
The books we treasure most are often those that inspire us to write our own stories. Think for a moment about your most beloved memoir (or author). Or, you may reflect on a novel you relate to deeply. Then imagine that you are going to sit down and write the author about your own experiences; the ones evoked by his or her book. What would you tell this author about yourself and your life? Now sit down and begin this letter. Don’t be concerned with editing, just relax and let yourself go. Write at least 500 words, but if you feel like going on, don’t stop! You may have just written the opening to your memoir.
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