Post #9 – Women’s Memoirs, Book Raves – Matilda Butler and Kendra Bonnett
Our lives can, and often do, take unexpected twists and turns. And when a tragic turn happens in childhood, it can take a long time to re-find your path. Sometimes we read memoirs to examine how others have handled such derailments. Our loss may be different than the author’s, but we seek guidance that goes beyond the particulars of the story.
Such is the wisdom to be gained from Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life…and Finding It Again. Author Donna VanLiere’s childhood dreams were swept away in that moment when a neighbor boy abused her. She carried shame about that abuse for more than 25 years. As an adult, VanLiere saw her dream of having children fade when years of expensive fertility treatments proved ineffective.
Eventually, she grew to understand that life offers bigger dreams and bigger plans than we can imagine. As suggested by the book’s title, she tells us about finding grace.
When we interviewed Donna VanLiere, she said, “I didn’t want someone to read my memoir and say it was about abuse, infertility, and adoption. It’s really a story about finding your way in life.” (If you didn’t get to hear her interview, Click Here.)
We agree. In addition, for a memoir writer, Finding Grace offers numerous treasures. For example, VanLiere has marvelous ways of expressing what otherwise would be an ordinary sentence. Here are just a couple of these treats:
“A Rolodex of ways to excuse myself flipped through my brain.”
“I wanted something like “CliffsNotes” faith that would give me all the answers without the work.”
In writing your memoir, it is fine to just get the story on paper. But then you need to go back and edit, you need to consider the way you have expressed your ideas. Try putting an original twist on what you are saying.
Another lesson in Finding Grace is to consider way to have lightness or humor, even when discussing a difficult situation. In the following example, VanLiere and her husband have decided to adopt. That required a great deal of paperwork and multiple visits from a social worker. VanLiere writes, “At one point, I clarified to our social worker that she knew we were trying to adopt an infant, not break into the Pentagon.”
No matter what you are writing about. Remember to allow for light moments as well as heavy ones. It reveals a better rounded, a more believable story and gives the reader respite to recover from the difficulty or tragedy moments in the life story.
