Post #58 – Women’s Memoirs, Writing Prompt – Kendra Bonnett and Matilda Butler
At the age of ten, I made my first journal entry. My grandmother had just committed suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills in her room next to mine. It was Labor Day Weekend, 1964, and my parents were both at work. I cracked open her bedroom door and Grandma lay in bed completely still with a Graham Greene book and a pair of glasses resting on her chest. The sheer curtains swayed in the breeze as if waving good-bye.
After the commotion of ambulances, paramedics, and my parents frantically rushing about, the pain of this loss penetrated like a deep-seated bullet. But, healing begun only days later, when my mother handed me my first journal. I poured my grief onto its pages. Little did my mother know that her seemingly benign gesture set the platform for my life as a writer.
Writing IS Part of Healing
In fact, over the years, I’ve learned that many people have turned to writing when in distress because it is an inexpensive form of catharsis and/or therapy. We can say that when life takes an unexpected turn, journals can become our best friends. Poet Langston Hughes said, “When I feel bad, I write in order to keep from feeling worse.” Writing to feel better is probably the most common reason people crack open their journals. Therapists often suggest journaling as part of the healing process to help channel problems. Poet Kim Stafford says that the journal lets him wallow, if that’s what he needs. “But,” he says, “the act of writing lifts me out.”
The challenges surrounding illness can also become a catalyst for journaling. “When it hurts write harder,” one colleague tells me. During my breast cancer journey, my journal became the forum for venting my fears and frustrations. Eventually, those entries were published in my recently released, self-help memoir, Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey.
In the book this is what I share about the healing power of writing: “Writing is one of the best ways to deal with unresolved traumas from our past. At first you may feel as if you are back in your traumatic situation, but you should keep in mind that you are safe if you are re-experiencing the emotions. Eventually the distress will fade and might permanently disappear. In the end, this means that you have been working through the pain and not avoiding it.”
Journaling is for More than Memoir Writers
Everybody ought to have a journal because the benefits are huge. For example, writing in a journal is a good way to become empowered; it clears the mind, improves mental health and it helps you appreciate life in the moment.
Many people say they don’t have time to journal, but you should just think of it as a way of taking care of yourself, like you would go to the doctor or to the gym. It’s such a powerful tool for our fast-paced and hi-tech existence where TVs, radios, and cell phones clog up our auditory receptors. Some argue that journaling on a computer is more efficient, but I’m not an advocate of that type of journaling. Not only does the act of using a pen and paper slow us down, but recent studies have shown that we dig deeper into our psyches with a pen in hand.
Sometimes journal entries lead to the completion of a memoir. Whether it gets published is not as important as writing what is truly on your mind. Many say they set out to write a memoir not necessarily because it is something they want to do, but more often because they have a story that they need to tell, either to find an answer to a mysterious question or make some sense of a situation. Writing is a journey like no other. Whatever your motive, it will surely prove to be a healing and rewarding experience!
Win a copy of Diana’s Memoir
Here’s a reminder: We’re giving away a copy of Diana’s Healing with Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey. To win, you have to enter…by leaving a comment below or on tomorrow’s book review blog, or next Monday’s interview with Diana Raab. Enter early…enter often.
And for more information about Diana Raab, her work, her life and her memoirs, poetry and non-fiction writing, please visit her website.
A Memoir Writing Prompt Moment
Diana’s memoir is full of poetry, journal entries and writing prompts. Even so, we asked her for a prompt to add to this post. Here’s what what she wrote: Write a letter to someone with whom you have unresolved issues. It can be someone who has passed away or who is alive. Sending it is not as important as writing it.
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