Post #34 – Memoir Writing, Journaling – Amber Starfire
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WHEN I was eight, I loved to twirl, as what eight-year-old doesn’t? I remember one time in particular, a late afternoon on a warm summer day, when I climbed to the top of a grassy hillock and closed my eyes. A gentle breeze swirled over the skin on my face, arms, and legs, enlivening me. I opened my arms to it and began twirling, twirling, twirling. My favorite skirt, a green and blue, knee-length plaid of medium weight cotton blossomed from me like an upside down tulip as I spun, its weight the perfect counter-balance to my movement. I twirled until the earth tilted and I had to turn in the opposite direction to keep from toppling over.
I stopped to take a breath, my simple pleasure at its peak, and looked around. The sky was a soft, dusky pink, like fading rose petals. I inhaled deeply, spread my arms, and lifted my chin to begin again. But then I stopped, suddenly cognizant of myself, a small being in a large universe. I didn’t have a word for the sense of large, awake awareness that I felt within and around me. It was if the sky itself, the grass, the trees and flowers were all alive and speaking to me. Yet at the same time, I was somehow mixed up in and part of it all. I felt very, very tiny — insignificant, yet completely embraced and safe.
It’s a simple memory of a simple event that doesn’t carry the weight of intense joy or trauma. Yet it marks a turning point in my life.
Memoir writing often involves identifying those turning point memories in our lives and exploring their significance. It’s not enough just to record our memories, but to understand the impact of the remembered events and uncover their underlying emotional truth for us personally. In order to do that, we need to ask questions.
Journaling to uncover our inner truths is an essential tool of the memoir writer. For example, questions that I can ask myself in order to better understand my memory of that day include:
- Why do I remember that particular day, and not all the other times I spun around?
- What significance did that event have on my future? Did it change how I perceived life in any way?
- Strong memories always have an emotional charge associated with them. What kind of emotional charge do I feel when I remember it now?
- Does how I made sense of that event or what I learned from it still hold true today? If not, am I still framing my point of reference through the lens of that moment in some way? How or how not?
- Was there anyone else around me? Other influences?
- Is there anything I can learn about myself as an adult through this child’s memory?
For memories of events that are painful or traumatic, in addition to variations of the above questions, you might consider some of these questions:
- What have you hidden from yourself or forgotten about the remembered event?
- Who comforted you at the time? And how have you comforted yourself since?
- In what ways have you healed and in what ways does the event still wound you?
- What did you carry away from the event that you wish you had not? Did that attitude, belief, or fear serve you in any way? If yes, write about how it served you. Does it still serve you? How or how not?
- In what ways have you held yourself back as a result of that experience? Now that time has passed, can you allow yourself to move on? Why or why not? How and how not?
- In what ways did you grow from the painful experience? Has it helped you to be more compassionate or helpful to others?
- What about your experience might also be experienced by others, even if the situation is different?
- If you had a chance to go back in time and talk to yourself right after it happened, what would you tell your younger self?
Use your journal writing to create a deeper, more informed relationship with your memories. In this way, you will be able to unpack their meanings and write more meaningful memoirs.
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For more about ways to journal, writing tips, and prompts, be sure to connect with Amber on Writing Through Life.
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Image Credit: Rob Amend
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