Snow Moon, No Moon: A Writing Group Concludes the Story

by Matilda Butler on March 20, 2012

StoryMap #9 – Women’s Memoirs, StoryMap: The Neverending Writing PromptTM – Kendra Bonnett and Matilda Butler

Women’s Memoirs Publishes a Special Group-Written Conclusion to Snow Moon, No Moon Story

Last week, we published a two-part conclusion to Snow Moon, No Moon written by Jamuna Advani. This week we have another two-part treat for you. This ending was written by a writing group, a collective effort. If you haven’t tried writing a story with others, it can be a lot of fun and help you to examine which parts of storytelling you do the best.

Don’t remember the first five parts of the Snow Moon, No Moon story? Here’s a link to Snow Moon, No Moon, Part 1. From there you will find a link to the next part.

Snow Moon, No Moon, Part 1 Read all five parts, if you like, and then return to this newest conclusion.

Here’s the link to yesterday’s story, the first of this two-part conclusion.

Snow Moon, No Moon: A Writing Group Continues the Story

Or, if you like, just enjoy today’s story. Be sure to leave the authors a note in the Comments section below.

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Snow Moon, No Moon, Part 7
by Barbara Bottini, Gale Henshel, Kris Maas, Lynne Urband and Cindy Wilber

[The story of the five strangers in town concludes with a surprising revelation.]

Meanwhile, blissfully unaware of the drama they were creating the five strangers continued their conversation that had interrupted while they looked for a place to eat lunch. The tall brunette who caught Jakes eye was Barbara, a retired teacher who volunteers at the George Miksch Sutton Avian Research Center based in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. The women had agreed to call it “The Bird Place” to save time and breath.

Lynne, a blonde-haired sophisticated woman, exclaimed to her four friends, “Look at all the Elvis Presley memorabilia on the walls, ceiling and even on the tables. I recognize some of his hit songs – ‘Heartbreak Hotel’, ‘Don’t Be Cruel’ and even ‘All Shook Up’ on the records used as wall decoration. I wonder if that is one of his actual guitars on the wall behind the counters?”

Kris, owner of the Bar46 longhorn cattle ranch, answered, “I wouldn’t think so – not in this little diner.” And with that pronouncement, she ran the fingers of her left hand back through her short, silky hair, capturing a lock in a bejeweled claw clip from Chico’s with her other hand. “The wind here is fierce. I just can’t keep my hair in place.”

After getting seated they found themselves looking around the Diner and noticed the juke box in the opposite corner of the room. It is blasting out ‘Hound Dog’ by none other than Elvis. Gale, a flamboyant artistic woman who exhibits her take on life with a dry sense of humor, looked around and said, “This is all real ‘cute’ but I’m hungry and would like to see the…”

Before Gale could finish her sentence the waitress Jenny (who also works at ‘A Brewed Awakening’) interrupted her by placing five menus on the table along with five glasses of water. “Good afternoon ladies – Can I interest you in some ice tea, lemonade, or a chocolate milk shake?”

Kris tells her, “I think we need to look at the menu before we order anything, you can come back in three minutes and I’m sure we will be ready.”

“OK ladies I’ll be back in three…”

Cindy, a happily married mother and grandmother of seven, starts talking to Barbara and the rest of the ladies at the table listen in. “Can you believe what we saw this morning at the top of the loblolly pine. I don’t know if I have ever seen one as big as that.”

“Cindy I’ve heard about them being big but that eagle was laying down a lot of large branches and it looked like he was building it in the shape of a globe,” Kris said, gesturing with her hands. “We have red-tail hawks on my ranch, but nothing as exciting as an eagle.

Gale kept looking around and said, “If only I could have found my binoculars when we were in Will Rogers Park. I could have seen that large globe shape you are all talking about.”

Lynne said, “I had no idea we would actually see the eagles working so hard to finish off the …”

Jenny interrupted again, “Have you ladies made up your minds on what you want to order yet?” The five ladies immediately placed their orders and continued their discussion of the large globe they observed that morning.

Two women eating at the counter noticed the five women enter the diner and sit at a table in the corner. The one called Matilda mentioned to her friend Kendra, “I wonder where those five women came from? Do you think they had anything to do with the missing snow globe?”

“I’m not sure but I just heard one of them talking about a globe. Seems suspicious to me.”

“I’m watching their lips and think another one mentioned a globe… We need to leave now and go down the street and tell Brandi about this.

Jenny, the waitress, was behind the counter and overheard Matilda’s and Kendra’s conversation. She whispered to them “Do you think those five ladies had anything to do with the missing snow globe?”

Kendra said, “They could. They are sitting way off from the rest of us in the far corner and keep saying something about a large globe.”

“I can’t actually hear them very well, but look how excited they are. Besides, they keep making the shape of a globe with their hands. There’s something odd going on.”

Jenny asked Matilda and Kendra to stay where they were and keep listening to the five strangers’ conversation while she hurried into the diner’s kitchen to call the new Chief of Police Mary Awentia. She might even suggest that Awentia come talk with these five mysterious ‘strangers’ about the missing snow globe…

Jenny waited patiently as the phone rang three times before it was answered.

“Hello Chief Awentia speaking.”

“Chief, this is Jenny at Dollar Diner. Have you heard about the missing snow globe?”

“Yes, Gail from Curl Up and Dye called about 15 minutes ago and told me it was missing.”

“Well, answered Jenny, I think you might want to get over here pronto. There are five women in here that are strangers and they look kind of shifty and might know something. And worse yet, maybe they had something to do with the missing globe.”

While waiting for the Chief to show up. Jenny served the women their lunch orders and continued to keep her ears open in case she could gather any more information about the mysterious missing sphere.

The chief arrived. She entered the diner with a confidence of the authority invested in her by the state of Oklahoma. Jenny tipped her head toward where the ‘strangers’ were located over in the corner of the diner.

The chief walked over to their table and asked in a warm welcoming voice if she could sit down and talk with them. The five strangers, even though they were taken aback by this request, invited the peace officer to have a seat.

“Is there a problem officer?” Gale asked

“Are you in town to enjoy the activities of the Snow Moon festival?”

At which point Gale spun a wild and wooly explanation for the women’s being in Five Points. Her dry wit and condensed way of telling a story meant that her companions had to add more details.

What it boiled down to was the women were in town as seasonal field technicians doing nest searching and monitoring for the ‘the bird place’. Usually the Sutton Center did this work from April to July but occasionally field work needed to be done at other times of the year. Barbara added that the Center had received word of the possibility of newly paired and nesting of bald eagles in the vicinity of Five Points. The group had been sent to investigate this claim.

“Well, actually, I was sent,” said Barbara. “I’m the serious bird watcher. I convinced Gale to come along on some of my trips and over the past several years persuaded these ladies, my entire writing group, to accompany me on the more interesting outings. You see, when I was teaching in Korea –”

“And this morning,” Lynne interrupted, “we noticed a pair of bald eagles constructing a nest atop of the loblolly pine in the park.”

“Would this help in your investigation?” said Kris.

Once all this information had been verified by way of a lengthy phone call to the field supervisor, the Chief of Police, in consultation with the Mayor and two council members, agreed not to press charges, although she had thought that might be the case when she entered the restaurant. Instead the five friends were all thanked profusely for solving the mystery of the missing snow globe and each of them was given a ceremonial key to the city. The Chamber of Commerce, whose float theme was “A bird in the nest is worth two in the landfill,” invited the women to ride in the upcoming parade planned for Saturday.

Back in California, the five friends all treated their adventure in their own inimitable styles. Gale wrote a graphic novel; Kris posted photos and comments on her Bar 46 Longhorn Ranch blog; Lynne wrote a beautifully descriptive memoir vignette for the writing group; Cindy shared the adventure with her grandchildren while enjoying their company one afternoon; and, Barbara began planning a trip to Redding. She was eager to study that city’s resident bald eagle pair, Liberty and Patriot, that were living in their nest high in the Cottonwood trees along Hwy 299 as it crosses the Sacramento River.

Maybe next time, I’ll go on my own. On the other hand, this was definitely exciting.

storytelling, memoir, memoir writing

Want to write your own conclusion? We’d love to receive it and will publish it on Women’s Memoirs. It’s simple, all you need to do is purchase your own copy (or even a single copy for your writers’ group) of StoryMap. We’ll get it right out to you. We even have a special price for anyone considering writing a conclusion to Snow Moon. You’ll find all the details here.

storytelling, memoir, memoir writing











{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Jamuna Advani June 3, 2012 at

conclusion is very interesting and I love it.

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