Memoir Anthology Editor Shares Her Experiences

by Matilda Butler on November 30, 2011

catnav-interviews-active-3Post #66 – Women’s Memoirs, Author Conversations – Kendra Bonnett and Matilda Butler

Women’s Memoirs is pleased to welcome Terri Spahr Nelson today. As the editor of anthologies of women’s memoirs, she has witnessed the transformation that happens when we use storytelling to reach out to others.

If you are bogged down in your memoir writing or if you are still debating whether to begin, be sure to read what Terri has to say.

Then be sure to watch the brief video of four women who are in Terri’s most recent anthology.

Each of us has a story to tell

Guest blog by Terri Spahr Nelson

storytelling, memoir, memoir anthology, memoir writing, memoir vignettes, personal life storiesEach of us has a story to tell. We can benefit from telling our stories and from deeply listening to the experiences of others. Writing can bridge those connections.

The unexpected gifts from writing your life story
For many women, writing opens the door that allows them to tell their story, to reflect, to heal and to connect with others. For some, writing fulfills a need for closure. Writing your personal life story can lead to many amazing outcomes if you release yourself to the possibilities.

As the Editor of the Reflections from Women series, I try to facilitate opportunities for women to share their stories in a way that empowers them to put into words whatever they need or want to say. Respecting the authors’ visions of their work and the expressions of their experiences is paramount to ensure the writer’s voice comes through to the reader. When the writer is true to herself, both the author and the reader will feel it.

Here is what some of our authors had to say about writing their personal experiences and what it meant to them:

It was very liberating to write this part of my life’s journey. I thought and wrote about things I have never expressed to anyone.

I had a wonderful time writing it. It really helped me clear my head and it reminded me why I love to write.

I shared the book with a couple of co-workers; they cried….They said they didn’t know how much I’ve been through.

Writing my story and sharing it with others has transformed my life in ways unimaginable. The whole process was so healing and empowering that I am now involved passionately in my art. I have an article that will be published… I would have never had the courage to pursue those venues before Reflections from Women. The experience has changed my life!!!

Reading it (my story) today, I am a spectator rather than a victim.  I truly believe that this experience played a part in getting me to this better place.

How has your writing transformed you or made a difference in someone else’s life? What has come back to you when you shared your writing with someone? These are the unexpected gifts that our writing offers us and others. Your writing can make a difference.

A starting point to writing your memoir

I want to encourage you to write about an event in your life that was meaningful or changed you in some way. First, find a quiet time and space where you can write without interruption or distraction. Briefly reflect on your topic and the emotions it evokes for you. Then, simply write with your thoughts flowing. Don’t stop for grammar or word choice. Just pay deep attention to your story. Say whatever you want or need to say. Allow your words to flow and your voice to be clear. There is no right or wrong—only your story. Then, put it aside for awhile.

When you are ready, share it with someone else–perhaps a dear friend, a family member, a writing group or an anonymous online writers’ support network. Ask them for feedback on your story—not on the grammar, the punctuation, nor the word choice. What do they think of your story?

I can assure you that your words will call out to someone. Your writing can open the door to others or to your own peace of mind.

Every reader has an intimate connection with an author

The connection between the reader and the writer can be significant and powerful. You get to know an author through their writing. You are a witness to their struggles, their insights, and their passions. You feel empathy for them when they write about their suffering; relate to some of them when they write about their fears, doubts or confusion; and share in their elation when they write about their triumphs.

This is the intimacy that occurs between the writer and the reader. It is the nature of this relationship that makes us have such strong feelings about a book, a story or an author. We carry it with us long after we have finished reading the book.

The journey you take with an author can be quite personal and, in some cases, calls out to you in ways that you never expected. When you reflect on one of your favorite authors you will quickly realize that their writing still evokes feelings months or years later. The emotions and memories are rekindled with the mere mention of their name or the title of the book.

How does that intimate connection between reader and writer occur? It happens, often unexpectedly, as you read someone’s story. It may seem as though they invited you to look at their personal journal or to peek into the sacred space in their hearts or the private corners of their minds. You walk the path with the author, sometimes feeling their feelings (tears rolling down your cheeks or laughing out loud), or sometimes understanding their perspectives with awakened insights or reconsidered viewpoints. This is the intimate bond that can develop between the reader and the writer.

The following comments are from a few of our readers who told us about their connection to the authors and their experiences reading the Reflections from Women books:

So many women will identify with her story as I did in my own life. I saw me in this story.

This writer could make anyone feel the emotions that were swirling through her during these events.

All of the stories got me to do two things…the first was while reading it I joined in and felt what the writer was expressing or telling. Some I laughed out loud while reading and others had me close to tears. It also got me to think afterwards. Some of these stories I would chew on for days.

I can imagine the heartfelt connections that will happen as women from around the globe read and see themselves in these stories.

I felt so much emotion that tears started flowing down my cheeks as I read it. I felt like I was right there with you as you came to this realization.

The readers are able to find themselves somewhere in the pages and realize they are not alone.

Cultivating connection with others and not feeling alone are positive outcomes of writing. This is a significant part of the Reflections from Women books. Women can relate to and empathize with our authors. I know that our readers will carry with them a piece of one of the stories in our book for a long time to come. I know that connection will occur because I have felt it myself. For me, this is what makes writing powerful and lasting. If you are able to make that connection with one other person through your writing, you have made a difference.

Remember, writing can be a transformative experience if you are open to it. Enjoy the journey.

I invite you to look at a piece of the moments in four women’s lives that changed them forever. Their full stories can be found in The Moment I Knew: Reflections from Women on Life’s Defining Moments (Volume 2) along with the stories of other women.

storytelling, memoir, memoir writing


Terri Spahr Nelson is the editor of the Reflections from Women book series at Sugati Publications and author of several publications. You can find out more about Terri at the Reflections from Women blog and her latest book, The Moment I Knew: Reflections from Women on Life’s Defining Moments on their website or view the video trailer on YouTube.

Note: This guest blog was adapted by Terri Spahr Nelson from: The Moment I Knew: Reflections from Women on Life’s Defining Moments (Volume 2) (2011, Sugati Publications)

storytelling, memoir, memoir writing











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