Post #88 – Women’s Memoirs, Writing Prompt – Kendra Bonnett and Matilda Butler
Memoir Writing Prompts: A Third View of Memoir and Truth
I’ve saved for last the perspective on memoir and truth that reminds us of the distinction between emotional and factual truth. Our emotions store information in various parts of the body. Sometimes a touch or a smell can bring back a memory if it is one associated with a strong emotion. Ninety percent of emotional communication is nonverbal. This means that words are only part of the way that we express our own feelings or know the intent of the other person.
Between words and gestures, who knows what is true. However, I contend, we do know our own emotional truth. Let’s say that I have an argument with my son that ends when he stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The next day, imagine that I’m telling my best friend about the argument. Imagine that at the very same time that I’m talking my son has called his best friend and is also relating the story of our argument.
Note, we were both in the same room and heard every word said. We both saw each other’s nonverbal signals. Yet, I can guarantee that the version he tells is quite different from the version I tell. Neither of us has to deliberately skew the story. Each is speaking the emotional truth. If there had been a camcorder and we compared it with the two descriptions given to our friends, there might be little overlap beyond the basics that there was an argument about a specific topic.
But does this mean that I was not telling the truth? Does it mean that my son was not telling the truth? I think it’s fair to say that we were each recalling the emotional truth that we stored away.
In memoir, we need to be willing to honor our emotional truths. We don’t have recorders running and so can’t check on actual statements. However, the way we remember events has it’s own validity. It is the emotional content that we carry with us and that influences future actions and reactions.
MEMOIR WRITING PROMPT:
1. Think of an emotionally charged event that has happened in the past six months. Write for five minutes about that situation. What was it about? Who was involved? What was said? What was conveyed by body language? Be sure to include the emotional content.
2. Now, write the same scene but from the perspective of the other person involved. We never know what is in someone else’s head. We cannot explain their motives or motivations unless they tell us. That makes this writing exercise difficult. But if you try it, you might gain an insight into this emotionally charged time.
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Others posts that may interest you:
Three Views of Memoir and Truth, Part 1
Three Views of Memoir and Truth, Part 2
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