Post #166 – Women’s Memoirs, ScrapMoir – Matilda Butler and Kendra Bonnett
July 2011 Memoir Contest – Honorable Mention Story
Women’s Memoirs is pleased to publish You Can’t Have Two Birthdays by Carole Jones. Carole’s story earned an Honorable Mention in our Fourth of July Category from our July Memoir Writing Contest. Congratulations Carole for sharing your story with us.
Memoir Contest Honorable Mention
YOU CAN’T HAVE TWO BIRTHDAYS
Carole Jones
“Mama, please push. Take a big breath and push again and again. Mama, don’t you want to meet me? Don’t you want to see if I am the baby girl you have been praying for? Come on Mama, look at the clock. It’s now 11:58 pm on July 4th! Mama, don’t you want to have a baby on the 4th of July? Maybe you will be famous and get your name in the newspaper for delivering a ‘fire-cracker’ baby.”
“Oh no Mama, I know you tried your best, but it is now 12:05 a.m. on July 5th when your very last push delivered me into the waiting arms of the doctor, and then I was placed on your chest.” You looked into my eyes and whispered into my ear that you were so very happy that I was your brand new baby girl. I was so very tired and the lights were so very bright, but I did look right back at you. I wished that I were able to tell you that I loved you too. But I was so very disappointed that I was never going to be a holiday baby!
A year passed by quickly and before I knew it, it was time to celebrate my first birthday. On July 4th, a big birthday celebration was held in my honor. All of my relatives, friends and neighbors joined in the festivities. It was so much fun to see all of the red, white and blue decorations and my very first birthday cake had firecrackers on the icing. As the sky darkened, I cried out in fear. Seeing the sky light up with brightly colored fireworks and hearing the boom, boom and then the oooh’s and aahhhs from everyone just added to my confusion.
As I was growing up, my family always celebrated my birthday on July 4th. It was a delightful day for me to experience the joyful time spent with all of my loved ones, and to also feel very special and honored to be included in all of the holiday festivities.
July 5th was always just another day for me. No one wished me happy birthday or even acknowledged that it was my ‘real’ birthday!
But sigh, all of that changed for me when I was 16 years old and I met a boy named Dave. We dated and eventually went steady all through our senior year of high school. Beginning a new relationship, we shared all of our life’s stories, history and information about ourselves. I proudly told Dave about my 4th of July birthday, but shared that in reality I was born on July 5th.
Well, my entire world changed on my 17th birthday when as usual there was a fabulous birthday celebration for me on July 4th. To my dismay, Dave refused to attend my birthday party and he broke my heart when he informed me that it was not my birthday and he didn’t think I should be lying.
My parents
Well, Dave tried his best to treat me to a nice birthday celebration and gave me a birthday gift on July 5th on my 17th birthday. I rebuffed his attempts though. He informed me that no one is entitled to have two birthdays and that he would never acknowledge my birthday on July 4th.
It was very difficult on my part to forgive and forget this flaw in the boy I had fallen in love with. Eventually we got married and had a beautiful family of a son and a daughter.
My family and friends continued to celebrate my birthday on the 4th of July, as they do to this day. Dave stuck to his guns though and felt like he was in the right to never acknowledge that the 4th was my birthday. He taught our children to also not say “Happy Birthday” to me on the 4th of July, which was so very confusing to them when they were little and were attending their mom’s birthday parties
With my son, daughter and husband
For the longest time I was angry and upset with my dear mom for not trying harder to deliver me before midnight on July 4th. I had always wanted to be a REAL 4th of July baby that came into this world with a big bang.
As I got ready to celebrate my 63rd birthday this year, I was so very blessed to be surrounded by both new friends and my loved ones. Some of them know the truth of the actual day of my birth and some do not. I no longer try to hush my husband and demand that he not say anything negative about the day on which I celebrate my birthday. I guess, as I grow older now, delaying my new age by one day isn’t so bad.
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Carole,
I enjoyed the story and the dilemma posed by tradition and reality. My mother’s birthday fell the day after Christmas. With family gathered for Christmas, dinner that day often featured my mom’s birthday cake. The day after, her birthday, seemed a bit of a let down after holiday festivities. When I was older, we started going out for breakfast to celebrate her birthday and then did some sale shopping as she liked to buy cards and paper for the next year. Though my mom died over twenty years ago, my sister and I continue to celebrate Mom’s birthday with breakfast out on Dec. 26th. Thanks for sharing your story, Carole, and I suspect you nudged similar stories in others!
Carole,
Very interesting story. I still can’t imagine not to acknowledge the real date for a birthday. I admire you though for your acceptance of the date one day later.
Loved your story Carole! My birthday sometimes falls on Thanksgiving but I never wanted to accept that the family celebration was for me. I always demanded another celebration……maybe I would have felt different if there had been fireworks!
How interesting that your husband, all these years, will only acknowledge your “true” birthday! The fact that you were angry with your mom for years that she didn’t deliver you on the fourth is amusing, as only a child can have the delusion of the possibility of control in any given circumstance.
I find this a wonderful story of acceptance, humor, and love! Thank you, Carol!
Oh my goodness, what a delightful treat for me to not only see my story receiving great recognition, but to also read the wonderful comments. My heart is soaring with happiness and gratitude as I send out my thanks to all of you for writing kind and caring words on my behalf.
Isn’t Matilda & Kendra’s writing site so awesome?
With Gratitude,
Carole