Post #5 – Memoir Writing, Journaling – Amber Starfire
You may have heard the term “reflective journaling,” and wondered what it is or how it is different than “regular” journaling. Let’s start by looking at the word “reflection” which comes from the verb “to reflect.” Light is reflected when it bounces back from a surface, such as water. And your reflection is the image that bounces back to you from a mirror when you look into it.
Similarly, when you look back at the past and reflect upon it, you are engaging in a process in which you mentally review what happened (bouncing it back to yourself in your mind), along with your own behaviors, reactions and perceptions, with a view to analyzing problems and finding solutions. A key to the process of reflection is a willingness to challenge your own assumptions and previously held views.
Why is reflective journaling helpful? Renata Phelps said, “Knowledge is created by the transformation of experience through observation and reflection.”
To benefit most from reflective journal writing, it’s important to gain distance from the event — wait until you have calmed down and can review the incident more objectively and honestly. When we reflect, we become investigators — asking who, what, why, when, and where — in order to gain knowledge, understanding, and personal growth.
Let me give you an example of reflective journaling. Let’s say I had a run-in with my teenage son, where he ended up stomping into his room and slamming the door and I ended up feeling hurt, unheard, and frustrated. As I write about this event and reflect on it, I may ask the following questions:
- Who was involved? (In this case, it was just my son and me.)
- What happened? (Here, I write a description of the event, as honestly and accurately as I can. I may include dialog, my reactions, and emotions. For this example, let’s say my reactions included raising my voice.)
- What triggered my reaction? (He kept interrupting me so I raised my voice in an attempt to drown him out and be heard.)
- Why did I react the way I did? Or, what was my reaction’s source? (Everyone in my family of origin used to interrupt each other, and I found it difficult to be heard. Usually, I would just yell until they stopped interrupting. So here, I see that my yelling was actually a way of responding I learned as a child.)
- Was my reaction a desired one? (No. Neither of us got what we wanted.)
- What can I learn from this experience and how can I change my reaction in the future? (I can be more aware of the interruption trigger, knowing that I tend to raise my voice in that situation. I can choose another behavior to substitute, such as calmly saying, “You’re interrupting me,” and waiting for him to stop speaking. Or I could listen to what he has to say first, really listen, and when he is done have my say.)
Finally, how is reflective journaling different than journal writing in general? In the last Journal Writing Basics post, I defined journaling as “a place to record experiences and reflections on a regular basis.” So, a journal may include reflective journaling practices, but is not limited to those practices. A journal can also be a place to jot down lists, notes, ideas, doodle, paste photos, and so on.
There are many ways to journal. Reflective journaling is one, effective way to get more from your journal writing practice.
For writing prompts and inspiration to help keep your journal writing fresh, sign up for my weekly e-zine, Journaling Through Life, and be sure to get a FREE copy of my e-book, Journaling Essentials: Everything You Need to Know to Start and Keep a Journal. To receive Journaling Essentials, simply fill out the form on the right with your name and email, and click submit.
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Image: Reflections On Water by Amber Lea Starfire
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