Her book Because I Remember Terror, Father… is one that hits me in the heart because of the long term violent sexual abouse our only granddaughter faced since pre school age-
In Spring 2007, their dad took a plea bargain- He is in prison and will remain there for approximately 13 more years- Only one DA’s office investigated in one parish where her dad violently abused and drugged her –
One other DA did not invesitgate in the two parishes in “his” district where the abuse was also reported, their dad’s and his parents’ home parishes in earlier years-
Like Sue, our granddaughter began to face the trauma about preschool age (according to her description of earliest memories of the attacks)-

Her brother two years younger than her was forced to witness the violent rapes and abuse since he was just a toddler- Stress worsened for him too as the investigation continued for years- Like his sister, he was repeatedly prepared by prosecutors and given medical counseling support to go before the Grand Jury- He described her being raped each day they stayed at their grandparents visiting them and their dad- As his sister did, he too described the rapes happening each day of a week or 2 week stay in vacation time or every day of a weekend stay in school time throughout the years- When asked how often did she NOT get raped during a visit, they repeatedly said she was raped EVERY day or every night- Finally an indictment was handed by the Grand Jury –

From the first day I learned of the abuse, I felt as wounded as my grandkids- I remain heartbroken- On the day their dad took the plea bargain in 2007, both were termed victims of sex crimes & abuse-

Sue’s book, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You..helped me so much during these past years- There were so many things that I did not understand about our preteen, then “teen” granddaughter’s behavior- I could not understand why she had to be homeschooled-
She is a very intelligent girl with inherited drawing talent and honors level music talent, plays 2 instruments, plays high level music- Her actions were a mystery to me, especially WHY she couldn’t function in school-

After the abuse was exposed, I read specific feelings and actions that Sue described in her memoirs of the tragic abuse she faced-
Her memoirs gave me insight into our granddaughter’s actions and view of life- Sue’s descriptions of HOW she felt at certain times, and describing how she dressed the way she did at times of feeling certain ways… opened my eyes to reasons why our granddaughter did certain things just AS Sue did-
I was shocked to read about the same type bad feelings, illness, and inability to be AT school as expected-
When I read of Sue having other NAMES for “identities” she sometimes felt she needed to BE, I had even more insight- Our granddaughter as a young teen chose a nickname for herself – She obviously chose the nickname because she considered it more fitting for her change in dress and behavior –

While many parents and grandparents might consider such actions very common for today’s teens, I could, because of my knowledge of the abuse, see a deeper reason behind the different identity she wanted at some times- At times her way of dress, different walk, and posture, were upsetting to me- I could see she felt stronger, more in control, with more confidence at those times- She was AS Sue described, different from the identity of who she really IS, the identity who was so WEAK when controlled, victimized and overpowered-
It made more sense once Sue’s descriptions had given me real insight-

Sue’s memoirs helped me understand that our grandkids’ problems they came to face stemmed from TRAUMA EFFECTS-
Her book, Love Sick, describes another devastating effect of repeated sexual abuse and long term “control”-
In my own opinion, the control the abuser has over the victim, is the same as any other addiction having control over a person- Love Sick gives a deeper look into addiction that can happen to any helpless victim-
Her book helped me understand that Sex Addiction and/or Love Addiction can be a very real, expected effect of long term sex abuse-
In our grandkids’ case, like Sue’s, it was long term incest BY THE FATHER-

Thanks to Sue’s memoirs, I have a deeper insight into this tragic type trauma leading to the intense LOVE ADDICTION of wanting to hear “I Love You”- Those three words are what the victim hears repeatedly, when in fact the abuser feels NO LOVE at all- Repeatedly hearing this, coupled with the sex abuse, creates a HUGE craving to HEAR those 3 words often-

I pray that someday my grandkids can overcome the trauma and put their lives on track as Sue did- So far I have not been able to convince them, now age 21 and 19, to read her 2 books- They want to only focus on things that might help them forget the trauma they faced- I hope one day Sue’s books can be an inspiration to them to overcome the trauma so they might want to help others as Sue has done-

http://www.bipolarbarebook.com/about-the-book

Helen
Straight From Hel